BPD Has (Sort Of) Made Me A Better Friend. Here’s How

Ok, so I was reading through a bunch of my stories like the complete narcissist I am, and realised how utterly depressing they all are. My god, it’s like, turn off Normal People and watch Friends for a while.

So I thought I’d write something slightly more upbeat. And yes, it’s still about BPD, because that's (annoyingly) a huge part of my personality, but let’s go with it and see what happens.

After recently sending a gift to a friend who was struggling with their mental health, they told me I was thoughtful. And as well as making my entire year, it made me think. Which I do a lot. Way too much, in fact. But that’s BPD, and that’s also being a good friend. So, could my disorder have a *gasp* positive impact on my relationships, as well as a negative one? Let’s do (even) more thinking.

I know how to read between the lines

Hiding something, something on your mind, want to ugly cry? I can probably tell. I’m not saying those with BPD have emotional superpowers, but I am saying we’re a bit more in tune with when things aren’t 100% with our closest people. And because we can spot it, we can probably help you with it, too. Even if you just need someone to vent to, someone to drink with or watch a shitty horror movie with (my personal antidote), we’ve got you. Always.

I let things go, easier

Flown off the handle at me? Ok, I probably cried about it for a week, but then I got over it. Because I know what it’s like when your emotions turn you into something you don’t want to be, or don’t really understand. And hey, I’ve probably done it to you. (Sorry about that).

Cancelling plans? No worries

The biggest thing I hate about my BPD is the social anxiety that comes with it. So if you need to cancel on me if you’ve got stuff going on, trust me, I get it. Not showing up to things almost makes me as sick as actually going, so believe me, if it’s too much, I understand.

Honesty is my biggest policy

Another shit thing (god there really are a lot, but hey this is a HAPPY post, big smiles people) about BPD is the intense paranoia. This is why I’m always honest with my friends and family, so there’s no room for guesswork. If something’s up, I’ll say. If I’m mad, sad or totally rad (ew), I’ll let you know. I’m not a hero, I put my bra on one boob at a time just like every other woman.

Pretty much nothing you could say could shock me

Unless you went on a murderous rampage or something, whatever you need to tell me can’t be as bad as the scenarios that go through my head every day (especially when someone says something horrendous like ‘I need to talk to you’). I haven’t got time or energy for judgement; whatever’s going on, we got this.

I will care about you an embarrassing amount

Those with BPD form strong attachments really easily, and while this might sound a bit Annie Wilkes-esque, I like to think there are also some good sides to this. We make loyal, thoughtful, caring friends. We’re there 24/7 (at least I am, insomnia fun) and we’ll back you even if we’ve only known you a week.

Told you it wasn’t all a shit show.

Thank you for indulging me,

LB x